How and why to build a funder relationship to increase your proposal strength and gain a supporter.
Grant writing can sometimes feel like a numbers game: draft the narrative, gather the data, hit submit, and hope someone on the other end reads it closely. It’s an easy pattern to fall into, especially when you’re busy running programs and don’t have time for anything that isn’t the application itself.
But funders are people, not vending machines. There is (almost always!) a person on the other side of those application portals. They want to invest in organizations they actually know and trust, not solely the strongest-sounding proposal in a stack of hundreds.
Whether it’s a foundation of 1 or 100, build a funder relationship before you apply, even a small one, and change how your application reads on the other end.
Here’s how to start doing that.
Not sure if you’re ready for this step in the grants process? Consider starting with Eight Grant Writing Basics before you proceed.
1. Reframe Your Role as a Partner, Not a Petitioner
It’s easy to write a proposal like you’re asking for a favor. But funders have capital, not capacity. They can’t feed families, build housing, or mentor youth themselves, they need frontline organizations like yours to actually do the work.
Grantmakers are closer to impact investors than charitable banks: they’re looking for high-performing, trustworthy partners to put their funding to work.
You and your organization know how to make these things happen and happen well, and you hold that power of being able to effectively create change in communities, while they are only able to fund it.
So, as we are starting to talk about how to build a funder relationship, it’s an important reframe that we want to make sure is a part of this conversation.
A few practical shifts:
- Understand that the foundation or funder cannot do important work without organizations like yours. You are a needed participant in this relationship. Shift your perception of the power dynamic to remove unnecessary anxiety about being absolutely perfect.
- Frame the relationship as an investment: “With a $15,000 investment from [Foundation Name], we’ll deploy [proven service] to achieve [specific outcome].”
- Remove desperation from your phrasing. “Without this funding, our program will struggle to survive” reads as risk, not opportunity. Funders want to see strong programs they can support, not save.
- Treat your community trust, staff expertise, and track record as real assets at the table, not just supporting details.
If you’re interested in learning more about the actual writing in a grant application, read more about Crafting a Winning Grant Application (Part 1 of 3).
2. Reach Out Way Before You Apply
Most nonprofits don’t talk to a funder until deadline day. Reaching out 6-8 weeks ahead of time helps confirm you’re actually a fit, and puts your name in front of them before your application lands in a pile with hundreds of others.
More importantly, it builds trust. Trust is not a big, lofty goal. It is built from specific behaviors by showing up over and over again through authenticity, credibility, and empathy. That is not something you can build right when the application is due.
Building trust takes effort. Start by:
- Reaching out early on so you have the time to show up and build a funder relationship long before the application is taken into consideration. Consider scheduling issues and that people are busy (including you)!
- Be consistent. When you say you are going to send notes, send them. When you say that you are going to follow up by Monday at 9:00 AM, follow up before then. These small things build up trust in you and the organization. If the funder trusts that your organization can show up when needed, it increases your funding chances.
- Create a warm introduction rather than a cold email. If we can have an introduction to a funder from someone they already, even tentatively, know, like, and/or trust, they are going to start building that layer of trust with us as well. Reach out to your network to see if anyone has ties to the organization or look up their 990 to see if they have funded organizations you’ve worked with before. If you find a contact, reach out to them. Ask, “Hey, I see five years ago that you were funded by the Smith Foundation. Would you be willing to connect me? Do you have any contact information that you would be willing to share?” This is a step in building that human connection.
If a foundation doesn’t list a direct contact, a few ways to find one:
- Check the header or footer of the grant guidelines for a program officer or grants administrator.
- Pull their Form 990 for free on ProPublica’s Nonprofit Explorer or Candid. Part VII or VIII usually lists officers and trustees.
- Search “[Foundation Name]” plus “Program Officer” on LinkedIn, many staff list their specific focus areas right on their profile.
- If you’re applying through a community foundation, contact their program officer directly. They manage the relationship with the donor.
Once you have a name, keep the outreach short: a few sentences asking for a brief call, a quick personal tidbit, and possibly a one-page summary attached so they have context going in. This is not the time to give them all the context, but a first step to build a funder relationship.
Wondering how to even find these funders in the first place? Consider exploring Finding New Funders for 2026: Grant Research That Works.
3. Ask Questions That Reveal Their Real Priorities
If you land an introductory call with a program officer, use this time wisely. You may be tempted to pull out a programming spiel, but this is the prime time to build a funder relationship and develop that trust.
Start by asking questions rather than pumping out information about your organization. Program officers want their portfolios to succeed, and they’ll often tell you exactly what reviewers are looking for if you ask. Keep your introduction under two minutes, then let them talk.
And make sure you have asked your own organization these vital questions before you build a funder relationship you don’t have the capacity for.
A few questions worth asking:
- “Are you prioritizing a specific demographic or region this cycle?”
- “Are you looking to fund new pilot projects, or support established programs that are ready to scale?”
- “What’s a common gap you see in applications for this fund?”
- “Beyond the funding itself, what does a successful partnership look like for your team?”
- “Are there obligations or reporting requirements that come with this grant?”
- “In what ways does the [foundation] make efforts to maintain relationships with their grantees?”
Never, ever ask questions that can easily be found on their website or 990. Do your homework and know what their mission is before you start.
Take notes on the language and priorities they emphasize, and use those same themes in your narrative. Take this time to learn about the funder and the program officer.
Have your talking points, but make sure that you have just as many questions about that person, about their work, about how long they’ve been doing it, maybe more about why the foundation is doing what they’re doing. It is another way to start building that trust and to signal to people that it isn’t just about the money.
When you can, add a little anecdotal piece. Connecting the organizational priorities to your experiences or to your organization’s journey starts adding that human connection. When you start to connect in personal tidbits rather than purely professional, it makes it sound less like a sales pitch and more of a step to build a funder relationship.
4. Add a Personal Touch of Gratitude
If you only contact a funder when they need money or a report is due, it makes the relationship feel purely transactional. If you want to truly build a funder relationship, you need to implement the things that relationships need to grow.
A few ways to do it:
- A handwritten note after an initial meeting, phone call, and especially after receiving funding
- A short “no response needed” email with a photo or quote showing a real milestone.
- An invite to a site visit, open house, or community event, with no ask attached.
- A forwarded article or podcast mention featuring your work, with a one-line note.
- Include them in your end-of-year thank you to supporters of your organization.
None of these take the funder more than a minute to read, and all of them keep you visible before your next ask. Even if you end up not being funded, they might be a better fit in the future. Or, they may have friends in the funder sphere. They may be talking with their network and say, “You know, that organization was not a great fit, but gosh, were they great and so nice. They sent me a letter afterwards.” And that kind of information gets shared around.
So, it’s not a waste of your time to do that follow-up, thank you, and communication, it’s an investment and act of humanity.
If the funder said no, consider 3 steps to take after a funder says no.
Building Relationships Takes Time, And It’s Worth It
No proposal is ever perfect, and not every funder becomes a long-term partner. That’s normal.
Building a network of supporters who already believe in your mission before you ever ask them for money is incredibly more valuable than singular, one-time funding.
We hope these tips add insight into your funding philosophy and your future relationships. Remember, funders need you as much as you need them!
At Partner for Better, our approach to grant writing starts with these kinds of relationships, not just the narrative.
If you’re not sure where to start building your funder pipeline, or want a second set of eyes on your outreach, reach out, we’d love to help.
